Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Have you ever seriously considered suicide?
Not in a I'm gonna kill myself if such and such happens or doesn't happen, but in a real concrete way.
Have you just not wanted to exist anymore, just to disappear as if you never existed at all.
Have you gone to bed hoping against hope that you would NOT wake up in the morning?
Have you awakened and felt the soul crushing disappointment of still being alive?
Of having to face another day in the torture and hell which has become your life?
Have you weighed the pros and the cons and found that the the cons far out weighed the pros?
Have you struggled sobbing as your soul fractured to pieces with how much easier everyone's life would be without you?
Have you ever hidden your feelings behind a smile pasted on-shaky-but one no one thinks to question?
Have you thought about how you would do it?
Who would find you?
How you could make even that easier on those who life you disappear from?
In the middle of the night when you can not bear to face another day-the mere thought of it more than you can stand-have you held the pills in your hand?
All of those the pills that were supposed to make you better-strangely calm and rational now that you had made a decision?


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