Update on life in general:
I am on the count down to vacation-I have about 10 days left before my vacation starts and I can barely wait. I am so ready for a little rest and relaxation. A will be in school all day and so I will have so peace and quiet-some down time. Some much needed down time, I might add. I have plans to do absolutely nothing all day everyday and to enjoy every minute of it. Catch up on sleep, my DVR'd shows, reading, crocheting, chatting, blogging-as A at my work says-"It's all about me!"
In the meantime, I have been better this week. I feel better-I am not as sick-and sleeping better and feeling less stressed. We have more staff and we are in the calm before the holiday rush. It has been super slow-which has also helped. I am also making it my business to not step up and do more. Luckily for me, E is really stepping up. I am not sure if she is going to move or what, but if she stays I think she will be senior after me. She would be the best we have on staff right now-by a long shot! I am going to ask her to come in early on sunday and help me with merchandising-everything changes the 23rd and I am off saturday and no way in hell am I coming in that night to make the changes. I hope she watches her back with S-the store manager-because she will lean on you and use you up and then when you ask to leave early or need a concession she totally forgets about everything you have done so far! She also helps and then messes everything up. An example today-she puts out the brochures but they are not supposed to go out until the 23rd-then she tells me-I want to politely ask her to PLEASE not help me with merchandising. That is why I backed off of it, because she wanted me to do it, but then complained about my time off of the floor. Well, I can not be in 2 places at once and got tired of doing twice the work with twice the stress. Do not get my wrong, I like our store manager-she grew on me-but she knows how to get a days work and then some out of the few of us who actually care about what we do.
Halloween is right around the corner and I am getting excited. A and I decorated on her b-da last week and I know she wants more a Halloween costume. I had told her no because she is getting to be a spoiled little shit and I am trying to curtail that, but it is hard not to give in now that it is getting closer to the date. She was telling me what her other friends and classmates have planned-one is going as a Playboy Bunny-which seems a bit extreme for a 7th grader. Another friend is going as a Chinese Hooker-which I told is racist. She seemed surprised but I asked her how she would feel if one of her classmates painted there face black and went as a black hooker-she seemed to get it then. Honestly, sometimes I wonder about that kid. She babysat Is this past weekend while CL was out of town for her b-day. I guess by Sunday she had had it and she slapped Is so hard that she had a handprint on her face the next day. I was shocked, surprised and scared. A is 7 years older than this little girl and has to out weigh her by 50 pounds, it was totally inappropriate to hit her, much less smack her. I am going to enroll her in an anger management class. Her counselor said it was probably due to her being punished physically by me. Perhaps it is. I have always believed moderate spanking to be ok as a punishment tool. I have had friends who did not spank and were adamantly against-saying it teaches kids violence. Well, I do not think violence is such a bad thing. Life is violent-from the act of birth, to the act of eating. Humans are naturally violent and while I do not want a monster, I also do not want a child afraid to stand up for themselves either-violently if necesary. I also have not found the children of parents who do not spank to be less violent than the children of parents who do. I know my friend C who used to lecture me all of the time about the horrors of spanking and NEVER spanked her kids-I saw her son haul off and smack the shit out of her when he was 7 or so. A would never in a million years hit me-so I have never been convinced of it either way. Until now. What kind of a hypocrite am I to see A hitting Is as wrong when I have certainly hit her? I have to think about this. I really do not spank A anymore-spanking is really more for small children who would never understand punishment than it is for kids A's age. Still, if I have wronged her I am sorry. I have tried to balance being strict with her about her behavior with being lenient about other stuff-like R rate movies and tv. I have to be strict with her behavior wise because I am a single mom without support and there is no one but me to catch her if she falls-and I can not catch her all of the time-so I need her to be afraid of me and what I will do as deterent as long as I can get away with it. It helps me keep her safe. Sigh, parenting, I am so glad I have A and would not change it for the world-but I am equally glad to not have to do this with any other children.
~~~~Where ever you go, There you are!
I am on the count down to vacation-I have about 10 days left before my vacation starts and I can barely wait. I am so ready for a little rest and relaxation. A will be in school all day and so I will have so peace and quiet-some down time. Some much needed down time, I might add. I have plans to do absolutely nothing all day everyday and to enjoy every minute of it. Catch up on sleep, my DVR'd shows, reading, crocheting, chatting, blogging-as A at my work says-"It's all about me!"
In the meantime, I have been better this week. I feel better-I am not as sick-and sleeping better and feeling less stressed. We have more staff and we are in the calm before the holiday rush. It has been super slow-which has also helped. I am also making it my business to not step up and do more. Luckily for me, E is really stepping up. I am not sure if she is going to move or what, but if she stays I think she will be senior after me. She would be the best we have on staff right now-by a long shot! I am going to ask her to come in early on sunday and help me with merchandising-everything changes the 23rd and I am off saturday and no way in hell am I coming in that night to make the changes. I hope she watches her back with S-the store manager-because she will lean on you and use you up and then when you ask to leave early or need a concession she totally forgets about everything you have done so far! She also helps and then messes everything up. An example today-she puts out the brochures but they are not supposed to go out until the 23rd-then she tells me-I want to politely ask her to PLEASE not help me with merchandising. That is why I backed off of it, because she wanted me to do it, but then complained about my time off of the floor. Well, I can not be in 2 places at once and got tired of doing twice the work with twice the stress. Do not get my wrong, I like our store manager-she grew on me-but she knows how to get a days work and then some out of the few of us who actually care about what we do.
Halloween is right around the corner and I am getting excited. A and I decorated on her b-da last week and I know she wants more a Halloween costume. I had told her no because she is getting to be a spoiled little shit and I am trying to curtail that, but it is hard not to give in now that it is getting closer to the date. She was telling me what her other friends and classmates have planned-one is going as a Playboy Bunny-which seems a bit extreme for a 7th grader. Another friend is going as a Chinese Hooker-which I told is racist. She seemed surprised but I asked her how she would feel if one of her classmates painted there face black and went as a black hooker-she seemed to get it then. Honestly, sometimes I wonder about that kid. She babysat Is this past weekend while CL was out of town for her b-day. I guess by Sunday she had had it and she slapped Is so hard that she had a handprint on her face the next day. I was shocked, surprised and scared. A is 7 years older than this little girl and has to out weigh her by 50 pounds, it was totally inappropriate to hit her, much less smack her. I am going to enroll her in an anger management class. Her counselor said it was probably due to her being punished physically by me. Perhaps it is. I have always believed moderate spanking to be ok as a punishment tool. I have had friends who did not spank and were adamantly against-saying it teaches kids violence. Well, I do not think violence is such a bad thing. Life is violent-from the act of birth, to the act of eating. Humans are naturally violent and while I do not want a monster, I also do not want a child afraid to stand up for themselves either-violently if necesary. I also have not found the children of parents who do not spank to be less violent than the children of parents who do. I know my friend C who used to lecture me all of the time about the horrors of spanking and NEVER spanked her kids-I saw her son haul off and smack the shit out of her when he was 7 or so. A would never in a million years hit me-so I have never been convinced of it either way. Until now. What kind of a hypocrite am I to see A hitting Is as wrong when I have certainly hit her? I have to think about this. I really do not spank A anymore-spanking is really more for small children who would never understand punishment than it is for kids A's age. Still, if I have wronged her I am sorry. I have tried to balance being strict with her about her behavior with being lenient about other stuff-like R rate movies and tv. I have to be strict with her behavior wise because I am a single mom without support and there is no one but me to catch her if she falls-and I can not catch her all of the time-so I need her to be afraid of me and what I will do as deterent as long as I can get away with it. It helps me keep her safe. Sigh, parenting, I am so glad I have A and would not change it for the world-but I am equally glad to not have to do this with any other children.
~~~~Where ever you go, There you are!
posted by Laileanah at 10:11 PM
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