Thoughts on Marriage:
Yikes, nothing is forever why should marriage be any different? I think it is natural people that grow and change, positive and not necesarily negative. Nor bad for the children-in all cases. My parents are divorced and I am well adjusted.
I am responsible for my daughter and divorced, I guess I fail to see how being miserable with her father would have enhanced her life. I think children are healthier and happier if their parents are healthy and happy. I think divorce is traumatic because of the fuss made over it and the negative attention associated with it. My daughter is 11 and I do not think a single one of her friends parents are still married to eachother. The kids seem pretty untraumatized to me.
I guess even abuse aside, people grow apart. Just because you wanted to spend your life with someone at 20 does not mean you will be compatible with them at 40. That does not mean you do not love them or care about them-just that your life is moving in a different direction then theirs. It does not have to be about fault and blame, just about letting go. I also think it can be a valuable lesson for children. Life is about change and sometimes letting go is the best choice. I think in an ideal world the person you fall in love with and marry will grow and change with you and it will be as great 50 years later as it was on the honeymoon. I have certainly met couples married for years that adore eachother. However, most of the couples I know do not fall under that category. Some of those that still love eachother have nothing in common and are in fact unhappy together. They make better friends than partners.
I personally would not want someone forced to stay married to me because of a law if they really do not want to be with me anymore. I like to think we could part and then perhaps I would have the opportunity to be with someone who values me and wants to be with me. I just do not see the value of staying in a relationship that is dead. I honestly think fear keeps most people with someone they do no want to be with any longer. Fear of the unknown, fear of dating again, fear of being alone, fear of no one loving you, etc. In truth, I would rather my husband be free to leave me and stay because with me is where he wants and chooses to be. I would not want someone to stay with me out of some misguided and unwanted sense of duty.
~~~~Where you go, There you are...
Yikes, nothing is forever why should marriage be any different? I think it is natural people that grow and change, positive and not necesarily negative. Nor bad for the children-in all cases. My parents are divorced and I am well adjusted.
I am responsible for my daughter and divorced, I guess I fail to see how being miserable with her father would have enhanced her life. I think children are healthier and happier if their parents are healthy and happy. I think divorce is traumatic because of the fuss made over it and the negative attention associated with it. My daughter is 11 and I do not think a single one of her friends parents are still married to eachother. The kids seem pretty untraumatized to me.
I guess even abuse aside, people grow apart. Just because you wanted to spend your life with someone at 20 does not mean you will be compatible with them at 40. That does not mean you do not love them or care about them-just that your life is moving in a different direction then theirs. It does not have to be about fault and blame, just about letting go. I also think it can be a valuable lesson for children. Life is about change and sometimes letting go is the best choice. I think in an ideal world the person you fall in love with and marry will grow and change with you and it will be as great 50 years later as it was on the honeymoon. I have certainly met couples married for years that adore eachother. However, most of the couples I know do not fall under that category. Some of those that still love eachother have nothing in common and are in fact unhappy together. They make better friends than partners.
I personally would not want someone forced to stay married to me because of a law if they really do not want to be with me anymore. I like to think we could part and then perhaps I would have the opportunity to be with someone who values me and wants to be with me. I just do not see the value of staying in a relationship that is dead. I honestly think fear keeps most people with someone they do no want to be with any longer. Fear of the unknown, fear of dating again, fear of being alone, fear of no one loving you, etc. In truth, I would rather my husband be free to leave me and stay because with me is where he wants and chooses to be. I would not want someone to stay with me out of some misguided and unwanted sense of duty.
~~~~Where you go, There you are...
posted by Laileanah at 6:22 PM
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