Sunday, July 08, 2007

More Current Stuff: Today's Topic is WORK

Well, we are short staffed and according to my DM, we will not be given the approval to replace the CSR we lost last week.

First on the CSR we lost week, D. D was hired by K before I started at my store. Apparently he worked as a temp and a greeter and when the position opened up K agreed to hire him. He must have been very different as a greeter than he was as an employee. D was a problem from the beginning. It was not usual calling in or even really escalated customers-though it was getting to that point. Mostly it was just D's attitude, he was sullen and argumentative. Everyday it was like he did not want to be at work. Now, we all have days where we do not want to be bothered and truly wish we did not have to get out of bed, but D was like that everyday. He was always wrinkled, never combed his hair, or shaved or even washed his face.
~~~Interrupted, will complete later
More Current News: Old friends update

A few years ago-around the time I first started working for VZW, I cleared alot of older friends out of my life. Not all of it was by design-quite abit was just happenstance. They moved, I worked more and saw them less. My focus in life changed and we just did not have the time we used to have. Some was due to their lives changing and one was due to a falling out.

I will start with T. I actually met T through Ch. Ch had met him online in a pagan chat group and she was playing match maker with us. Well, T was much more interested in Ch romantically than me-even though Ch was married at the time, but in the end we did become friends. T, Ch and I had a falling out-to be honest I can not even remember what it was about. I do remember that once Ch had split with Je, her husband, she briefly dated T. Well, really she lead him on. It bothered me. Perhaps I was jealous-I doubt it-or maybe it just bothered my innate sense of right and wrong. Ch knew that T had a huge crush on her and she used it-and him-to get clothes, theatre outtings, dinner, movies, etc. Ch was already sleeping with someone else, Ju-a man she had in fact been sleeping with since before she and Je split up. She knew she had no real interest in T and was just using him because she could. I think there is no more wrong behavior than using someone's feelings to manipulate them. Well, after some months I emailed T about the 9/11 bombings and we began to talk again. Before I knew it we were good friends. He was very supportive and at one point we almost semi-dated. Nothing much ever came of it and I can honestly say, thank the gods (as I am sure he can say as well). The summer I started at VZW was the summer the 5th HP book was released. B, A and I picked up the book at midnight with T, I think that is probably the last time I really saw him. Shortly after that I started working more and he met D, whom he eventually married and had a baby girl with. We still chat every now and then-but very rarely. I am always glad to hear that his family is doing well and wish him all the best. I do not think about him much though and I am sure the same is true for him.

Next we have Ch herself. Well, she and I had a series of falling outs-which eventually led to us no longer talking to eachother at all. It started when her now ex-husband Je was found to be sexually molesting his 13 year old cousin. I was thoroughly disgusted. To be honest I had always liked Je and was surprised and shocked to learn that he was a child molester. I have to admit honestly that I have no idea what I would do if I discovered that my husband and the father of my children was molesting his teenage cousin. I hope that I would kick him out and demand supervised visitation with our chilren. It is easy to be outraged and absolutely sure of what actions you would take when a situation is not happening to you. It is much stickier when the situation is your life and not theoretical. Even with that, I firmly felt that Ch should kick him out and I tried to be supportive of her choices and her right to choose what was best for her. However, she really blamed the teenaged girl-said she chased and pursued him and down played Je's role and responsibility for his actions. Ultimately that attitude lead to us having a falling out and we stopped talking for a short time. Then she did kick Je out, started openly dating Ju-who she was seeing behind Je's back anyway and we began talking again. I had missed her and it was good to have her back. Ch is the ulitmate earth mother pagan. She believed that most ills could be cured by diet and herbs and has a vast knowledge of herbs and natural medicines. She is very hippie like had a zoo of pets living in her trailer, bathing with her and the kids. She believed we focused too much on bathing and antibacterials, never wore underwear, etc. She was definetely a free spirit. However, she was also a huge hypocrite-which is what partially led to us no longer speaking. Ch hated my friend CL, she was very judgemental of CL's life choices and most especially of her pot smoking. Ch strongly felt that drugs in general were harmful and that illegal drug use was immoral-especially for a parent. Imagine my shock when her new boyfriend Ju turned out to be a potdealer. I have a liberal view of drug use. I believe that this is my body and that it is no one's business but my own what I choose to ingest as I am a consenting adult of legal age. On the other hand, I do not use legal or illegal drugs and certainly would not date a dealer. She was driving around in the car with her kids and Ju and he had a trunk full of pot. She could have lost custody of kids and was certainly endangering them by exposing them to that lifestyle. In addition Ju had a nasty temper and had in fact thrown a plate at her in anger in front of her children-and I am sure many other incidents that she was too embarassed or ashamed to admit to me. Ju sold pot to the guests at my annual Yule party-much to my horror and even brought pot to the WOM Gathering in a public park-which was waaaayyyy against the groups rules. Ch had an immense attitude when questioned about her choices. She then got pregnant-which she claims was an accident but I am positive was on purpose. I truly believe that she thought if she got knocked up Ju would move in with her and marry her. Ch had never dated a man like Ju, usually she dated men who gave her whatever she wanted. Ju kept her at a distance, he saw her when it was convenient for him, he made it clear he wanted no children, no wife and no long term committment. I think Ch wanted that when she first split with Je, but as a year or more passed, she wanted more and felt that a baby would help her to achieve that end. Whatever the case it was-of all things-her baby shower that finished our friendship off. When she first got pregnant I agreed to host her baby shower with her mom and sister. Then, my brother died, my foster daughters went back to their families and I went into a deep depression. I had forgottn all about agreeing to host her baby shower when mid-summer she springs this baby shower thing on me. She had fallen out with her mom and sister, got all of my baby stuff and already had one baby shower put on by Ju's father's family. Now she wanted another baby shower-she had invited 50 people and was looking for me to host and pay for the whole thing. I backed out, she had a huge fit and I never returned her calls or emails. That was the end of our friendship. Odd but true. We were still on some of the same online groups and so I congratulated her when her daughter was born. Well, recently I saw that her oldest daughter had been diagnosed with kidney failure and was on dialysis awaiting a kidney. Actually, B saw her on the news and I looked it up online and was shocked to see it was her daughter. I emailed her and semi-followed the news of how her daughter was doing. I am glad to report that she did get a kidney replacement and is recovering and healing well. Ch and I still do not talk and while at times I do miss her, I can honestly say I do not miss her enough to extend the hand of friendship again. I can tell from her posts that even though 4 years have passed she is still in the same place in her life she was in 4 years ago. That in and of itself is enough to keep my distance.

Then there is CL-easily my oldest friend. I have known CL since the 9th grade when I was 14 and she was 13. We have not kept in constant touch over the years, but even after a period of not speaking for a couple of years, our friendship seems to pick up like it never stopped. I also protect myself from being too close to her. CL is great is many ways, but she carries the seeds of her own destruction within her. Also, she always puts herself first-always and that makes it hard to trust her. I know in my heart of hearts, even if she doesn't, that if it benefited her in the slightest she would do it, even if it destroyed me-and feel no guilt about it. I admire that in her and also fear it. So, we stay friends and almost more like sisters-competing, comparing and striving and she knows me better than anyone alive, at times better than I know myself. She can enlighten an issue that has been plaguing me for weeks with one comment that illuminates what I am really feeling and what really motivates me. Yet she is destruction personified, like the Yoruban goddess Oya-the river goddess-who brings life and death together. She is as smart as the day is long and a born salesmen, all of the tools she needs to be successful and then some. She is dedicated and hardworking-but always thinking she is smarter than the corporation and I see sales reps like her fired everyday. I try and tell her that even if it seems like everyone else does it and gets away with it, there are still people fired for it and to watch it. I know she pays me no mind, thinking me too timid for my position. She also makes enemies, she is loud, crass and brash-you either love her or hate or-she allows no middle ground. She tells the truth that polite society ignores and it earns her enemies-she thinks because they laugh they like her-nothing could be further from the truth. I try to school her in the knowledge that the company is smaller than she thinks and advise her on moves to advance her career. But she still sees VZW as a job with career possibilities rather than a career with life possibilities. She is still tempted by the ease of staying home with her kids and chasing her boyfriend while collecting state assistance, never advancing and making a real life for herself and her kids. She is always looking for the instant success and ignoring the hard work that goes into it. I worry about her, we are about the same age but she is immature. She seems to see no end to the life style she lives and the choices she makes. I can honestly say that she lives her life fully and will never regret not taking every chance that came her way. However, she may regret not seeing through every opportunity that she was offered. If she messes this up, I do not hold out much hope for her being other than a waitress or hustling or both. Niether options the life style that will get what she desires in life-respect and stability. The straight life is full of hard work and small promotions, but it is the life our society has designed for us. Part of growing up is finding your place in it-she can see that but can not seem to find her way to it.

Last but not least is Ca-the friend who actually started this train of thought for me. Ca lived in the seem apartment complex I lived in in R. I met her at the pool one summer with A. She has daughters 1 and 2 years older than A and they all three played together for awhile. Ca is older than me and also has children who are grown, about 5-7 years younger than I am. Ca is also different. She lives outside of the mainstream life style. She had a traumatic childhood and as such has developed into a rather different adult. She is quiet and closed and in an effort to remain so is not at all opposed to telling white lies. It never ceased to amaze me the extent to which Ca varies the truth. Much of what she says is not an outright untruth, so much as it is a very stretched version of the truth. All I can think is that whatever happened to her as a child and young adult so scarred her that this is what developed out of it-a very strong instinct to survive and protect. Yet, she is one of the nicest, kindest, most generous people I have ever met. Ca gives with her whole heart and being-whether she has it to spare or not-with no strings attached. Her gifts require and desrire nothing in return, she gives because she can and for the joy of giving-not many people can say that-in most instances I can't. She is a loving, caring and nurturing mother to her kids. I wish I had more of that in me. Her relationships with men were ultra destructive and often her down fall-I think largely because she was too scarred by her past to trust them, but needed them in her inner being to be ok. She finally met K-who is as sweet as she is and seems to love her with no expectations for himself. Her relationship with K has given me hope as I date. Ca and I grew apart as she first began driving truck, then moved out of the area. Later she moved back but in a different part of R and her girls were no longer friends with A and we just grew apart. With all of that said, I truly believe that if I had nothing and no one I could stay with Ca-both A and I both as long as we needed to. Ca is that type of person. It had been almost a year since I spoke to her. My emails never really went through to her even when we talked everyday and I had lost her phone number in my multiple phone swaps and moving, etc. I got an email from her friday. I was shocked and happy and replied immediately. I sent her my cell number since I no longer had her contact information. She called me and we caught up. I was shocked and horrifed to hear that her oldest daughter has an incurable form of cancer. I mean speechless shocked. Strangely enough I wanted to hang up on her when she told me. Not because I was angry, but because I did not want to even believe that of her daughter K. I always liked K-she was quiet and responsible and a bookworm. She was honest and could always be counted on to do the right thing. She kind of reminds me of Hermione from HP. It is unreal to me that anything could be truly wrong with her. It seems like life at it's most unfair and cruel. It personifies for me the very reason I am not a Christian. When people ask me why I reject Christianity, Judaism, Islam in favor of more unorganised religions I am often at an almost loss for words. I reject them because they do not suit me-which is no explanation at all. Yet, K's illness gives me the ground to truly explain what I feel. If God is all seeing and all knowing and nothing happens without his grace-why is K ill and dying? In what just universe would a child like her be so stricken? It is not because I fear death-because death is a natural part of life and we should not and in fact I do not fear death. Yet, this child will suffer and die without ever having really lived. She will never be a mom, probably never marry, maybe never have a true relationship. She may not even be able to finish school-as she has had to drop out for her treatments already. Why should she suffer so? How could that possibly be apart of God's plan? What good could it possibly serve? Why her and not someone who has done something wrong-like my ex-husband? Why? It is far easier for me to believe in nature and that life is just what it is-always changing with no real rhyme or reason, so why ask why, than to believe that God planned this horror for this child as part of some vast unknowable scheme. To believe so insults what this girl will suffer and if she were my child to say so to me would probably put a persons physical being in danger. This is why I am not afraid to be wrong and go to hell. 'Cause if God in Heaven allows this in his kingdom-and he is supposed to love us more than our parents do-I want no part of his heaven.
~~~Where ever you go, There you are!
Current Blog: My busy July

Well, the summer has beem flying by. A is already in Alabama for the summer and I miss her quite abit. June is over and July is moving along rather quickly. July is an exciting month for several reasons. The main reason being Harry Potter time!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was supposed to premiere on friday July 13th-which I took off months ago-as soon as I heard in fact. Well, the premiere has been moved up to July 11th-B and I always see it at midnight the night before it is released-or rather than 12:01am the morning it is released. I think we have seen every movie since the third movie like that. The only reason we did not see the first two that way is because T was taking us and he would never take a day off of work for a movie. Well, as soon as I noticed that the movie premiere had been moved up-I adjusted the schedule so I could be off on wednesday instead of friday-a perk of being a boss for sure. I can hardly wait, I have to admit that the fifth book was my least favorite of all of the books-Harry was such an ass, but still, the movie will have my favorite fifth book moments: Dumbledore's Army and the twins quitting school and creating a huge swamp in the middle of Hogwarts.

The next HUGE event this month is the publication of the seventh and final Harry Potter book-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. B and I are scheudled to pick it up at midnight on the 20th. We are even ordering shirts to wear to the publication party and I have taken the entire weekend off of work in anticipation. I am also rereading the entire series-I am currently on book 4. I have read the first four books many times, but I have only read book 5 and 6 once-so it will be interesting to reread them again so I can be ready for the 7th and final book. I can hardly believe that this will be the end of the Harry Potter franchise-but at the same time I am anxious to see how it ends. Who will live, who will die, etc. I love the world of Harry Potter, but I have to admit that J.K.R.'s brilliance does not extend much past her world building. The characters have no real depth-the villains are much too flat-they lack depth which would make them frightening. A truly great villain is one the reader can understand and identify with. Voldemort does not even frighten me because he is no unreal as to be pathetic. I also see a definete lack of growth in the main characters. In 7 years Harry is not that different than he was at the beginning of the series. Yet, the world building is outstanding. I would give my eyetooth to be a student at Hogwarts, to travel by Floo Powder, To work for the ministry of magick, to store my money in Gringotts bank, etc. I wonder where she ever got such wonderful ideas and created such an amazing world, for it is the world of Harry Potter that sells the books and movies-definetely not the plot. I recently saw a History Channel special on the roots of Star Wars and I have to admit that the similiarities between Star Wars and Harry Potter were eery. Harry is clearly Luke Skywalker, Ron is not quite Han Solo-not nearly nor as self serving-but Ron neatly fits the shoes of sidekicks everywhere. In Star Wars I would say Ron is actually closer to C3PO and R2D2 than Han Solo. Hermione is not as cute or capable as Princess Leia and awhole lot smarter than her-but still, she is the female rounding out of the trio. You have Yoda and Obi-Wan in the character of Dumbledore as advisor and leader. The most similar of all you have Voldemort as Darth Vader-both inhuman, difficult to identify with and scary looking as hell. I know the history of mythology and Hero's Journey-but still even given that this is modern day mythology in the making-it is disappointing to see how heavily the paths cross. I mean take for example the Dune series. Dune could also be seen as a take on the Hero's Journey with Paul having a great and important future, his father dying which ultimately sets him on his path, etc, etc. Yet, Frank Herbert is such an amazing author that the villains have depth, the hero has faults and nothing, nothing is what it appears to be. That is the Hero's Journey as written by an author of talent.
The last and final event this July is my mom's 60th birthday on saturday the 21st. I am not sure what we will do for her. If my backyard was in better shape I would throw a party for her. As it is, I am not sure what she will want to do. To be honest I am hoping it does not take up too much time as that is the weekend HP is released and I would really like to be reading-not partying!
~~~Where ever you go, There you are!
Catching up on my blogging Part IV: The new House

It has been ages since I have taken the time to blog.......... So much has happened and my last post focuses on my "new" job-which I will have had exactly 1 year starting Auguest 1.

First the post I never got to-my new house-
I LOVE it. Whenever I thought of purchasing a house I always thought the biggest obstacle would be financing. I could not have been more wrong. I got pre-approved for a mortgage in less than a week. What took forever was finding a house I liked and could afford. It was a nightmare-no lie. I am not one who likes shopping by nature-if ain't books, I ain't interested in shopping for it for any amount of time. So, I fugured I would find a house I liked and that would be that. I am a relatively decisive person and do not spend alot of time locked in indecision. My motto is a wrong decision is better than no decision. Man, did I ever understand house hunting. At least I had the area I wanted to move to narrowed down-F. I also had a few basics-I wanted 3 bedrooms, a basement and a garage-basement being more important than garage. I had my pre-approved mortgage and my Real Estate agent-T-and was off to the races. I fully expected to find the house I wanted in 30 days or less-HA! I swear that I saw every single house within my budget in F-bar none. I also learned abit about neighborhoods-where is a good area, a prime area and an ok area. I wanted an area without a lot of traffic and near the 9 mile and woodward area. Well, what i could afford in that area was so tiny I would have had to go outside to change my mind. Then I decided to be more open about my requirements-all I really needed was two bedrooms and either a garage OR a basement. Still no luck. F seems to have an abundance of very wet basement and/or sloping houses. I can not tell you how many slopping houses I saw-yikes! Well, after more than a month of nothing but disappointments, my realtor talked me into looking in the areas surrounding F. The very first day I found two houses I liked-the first in RO and the second in OP. It was the friday before Labor Day. At this point I was under some pressure to either make a decision on a house or to rent an apartment closer to where I worked. The drive to work was absolutely killing me and A had started school and I did not want to move her during the school year. I really liked the very first house in RO-it was large, had an upstairs, a fenced in backyard with a deck-no basement or garage-but it did have CA and a shed. I liked the way it was laid out and it had quite a bit of square footage. I saw a few more houses-none I liked that much-and then the house I currently live in, in OP. I loved the house the minute we pulled into the driveway. It has an amazing amount of brickwork-at that time it had a fountain in the front yard as well. It also has a 2.5 car garage AND a basement. The house is small, but has two rooms and a bungalo and is all tile. I really wanted hardwood floors-but tile is nice and interesting. Best of all-my absolute favorite part is the backyard. The backyard is amazing-it has a privacy fence and is mostly bricked over with several large extremely overgrown flower beds. Walking into it is like entering my own world. I could easily see myself outback enjoying a nice spring, summer or fall day. What I did not envision was the sheer amount of yardwork-astounding!!!!!!! Anyway, I loved the house right away and decided that evening to make an offer. I told my mom who insisted that i should have made an offer friday-since it was a holiday and someone who probably make an offer before tuesday. You can imagine my stress and I worried all through the long weekend that the house would be sold by tuesday. I called my agent and let her know that I wanted to make an offer on tuesday. We met at the house, I looked at it again-signed the paperwork and handed over a "good faith" deposit. Almost 30 days later I was closing on the house and moving in. It was harrowing. I did not have an exact close date-the house was empty so as soon as I closed I was freeto move in. I needed to give at least 30 days notice at my apartment but was not sure of my close date so I was not sure of when to give notice-yikes!!!! Papa saw the house before my offer and came over during the inspection and got a chance to see the inside. He liked it alot and thought it was a good decision and it is very close to where and G live. It is also very close to where my mom lives as well. We went to Cedar Point for Halloweekends the last weekend in Sept/first weekend in Oct and I closed that coming thursday. I had to pack the house and be ready to move by saturday. D & N agreed to help me move and I left Halloweekends early so I could get home and get started packing everything. I was terrified to tell K-my manager. I know my old manager-S-would never have given me the time I needed off to move. K-bless his heart-did not give me any trouble at all. He was so cool and calm-it made everything so much easier. I mostly was done packing by the time we moved on Saturday. We found A's dirty undies hidden everywhere-it was quite gross, but otherwise it all went off pretty much without a hitch. I still can not believe it. Half of my furniture arrived on friday and the rest-including my appliances-we were picking up on saturday as part of the move. It was hectic and difficult and mostly done by 8pm. It was absolutely crazy. I tell you that I could never have done it without Papa, G, D & N. Poor Papa's ghout started acting up and he was on bed rest for almost afterwards-he hung in like a real trooper though. G was like a general-directing everyone and D & N still laugh about it now. It was crazy and I was worn out and exhausted. I spent the sunday after we moved getting A's bedroom as settled as possible because she had school the next day and I still had a few days before I had to go back to work. I think I counted inventory the sunday after I moved as well. It was crazy. I unpacked the essentials and let everything else pretty much sit until my vacation the last week in October/first week in November. I did not get all of my books unpacked until February and did not get my altar unpacked and set up until at least March-probably closer to April. I still have boxes of stuff in the basement and have gotten side tracked from finding places for everything by yard work. Not that I am doing much yard work-but I am worrying about how little yard work I do and how very much needs to be done.
Well, that's all for now.
~~~Where ever you go, There you are!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

These pictures are of my house The first three focus on my overgrown backyard.
The first and second pictures feature my sliding glass doors-directly off of my bedroom which are covered by a grape arbor.
The third picture focuses on the intricate brick work is all over my front and back yard.
The fourth picture was taken inside of the house and focuses on the tile that is throughout the house.